What About Eye Contact Where should your eyes be focusing during a self defense threat? What about a situation where you feel uncomfortable that there might be something threating about to happen but as of yet it hasn't happened? How about if you get a "gut feeling" that someone might up to no good but hasn't actually demonstrated anything agressive yet? What do you teach your children about eye contact with strangers? The eyes can be a very powerful, subliminal, defense to prevent an attack from becoming physical. The old saying that the eyes are the "window to the soul" has some truth in it. Unless you are directly threatened or confronted, the best approach is to try to convey this message using your eyes: 1. I am aware that you are there. I am watching you carefully and intently. 2. I am not afraid of you. Showing fear invites an attack. 3. I don't want to be bothered by you nor do I want to talk to you. You want to avoid the "interview". 4. I am not challenging you or threatening you. Challenging an aggressive personality gives them no way to save face and encourages an attack. So what is the best way to accomplish all of this? The Chinese have a term that is familiar to some martial artists called "soft eyes". Soft eyes mean to look directly at someone without looking at a particular part of them. Think of your head and face directly facing them but without looking in their eyes or in fact, any other particular part of them. You look in a "big way" as opposed to focused way. If your eyes could shoot you would be looking at them with a shot gun as opposed to a rifle. I like to tell my students to look at their chest area but in a soft, all encompassing way. The added benefit to this is that you can see their arms, hands, and feet using soft eyes. You fight the tunnel vision that might be setting in on you because of the adrenaline. This will help you detect a sneak attack on the onset. If, on the other hand your potential attacker is sizing you up, directly threatening you, (conductin the interview) then direct eye contact is necessary. Taking an assertive posture without direct eye contact will substantially reduce your chances of fending off the attack from becoming physical. What to teach your children. We (as parents) teach children to look at someone directly in the eyes when they are talking or listening to them. This is good and appropriate when in the company of people they know. For places that are safe and friendly. Children should be taught the soft eyes technique as well. They should definitely not look a stranger in the eyes but still let the stranger know that they are aware of their presence. Remember they want to convey that, "I know that you are there and I will not talk or communicate with you". It's usually easier for a predator to look for another victim than it is for them to deal with someone who will not be easy prey. For more information about Street Self Defense 101, visit www.easy-self-defense.com.

Shihan Michael Pace